15th May, 2026 - An easy early rise again, and the routine gives me great pleasure. Today I decided to work at the local coffee shop. I go there to break monotony, and because only few are open at 6AM. The $5 plus tip makes the wallet grimace for every bitter sip taken...

16th May, 2026 - My weekend mornings are no different than my weekdays. Early rise again at 3AM. I have been trying to develop a habit in reading at home. What is the need to go outside? My world is within me and I can see much from my screen. I only hurt others with my repugnant presence and vile speech. I have difficulty holding eye-contact with the opp. gender as well. I stopped partaking long ago. Books help curb the solitude but vices always get the best of me.

17th May, 2026 - Woke up around 3AM today. Maybe once or twice a bathroom run is needed. I have not been feeling too well lately. Perhaps the liver, or the kidney I suspect. I can already see the 40s wont be welcoming me with wide open arms. Akari Tsumugi has been relieving the pressure of solitude. Whenever a new JAV actress I find to my liking is found, maybe 2 or 3 times more a day in the bathroom I am bound.

18th May, 2026 - I woke up today around 5AM today. Worked from home from 6 until 1PM. I met a friend at a local bar afterwards. I have not drank for two weeks. An all-time record. So I decided to see how I would fare while catching up with him. I had about 4 pints and the next morning I woke up dizzy. In fact I did not enjoy much being half-buzzed. I have been already fighting several urges, the cold touch of the devil's hand gently wanting to lead me to perdition and pleasures. I am not sure how long I can hold the fort. I was never great at it to begin with.

21th May, 2026 - Always bathroom runs in the middle of the night. I tried going to the coffee shop once again after a small break. They must all know me by now by the way they treat me. I have trouble making eye-contact with people and I noted how much I ruin even relationship with strangers! Can you imagine, not having even before the beginning. Truly the worst enemy in my life has been myself.

10th May, 2026 - An easy early rise again, and the routine gives me great pleasure. Today I decided to work at the local coffee shop. I go there to break monotony, and because only few are open at 6AM. The $5 plus tip makes the wallet grimace for every bitter sip taken...

12th May, 2026 - My weekend mornings are no different than my weekdays. Early rise again at 3AM. I have been trying to develop a habit in reading at home. What is the need to go outside? My world is within me and I can see much from my screen. I only hurt others with my repugnant presence and vile speech. I have difficulty holding eye-contact with the opp. gender as well. I stopped partaking long ago. Books help curb the solitude but vices always get the best of me.

15th May, 2026 - Woke up around 3AM today. Maybe once or twice a bathroom run is needed. I have not been feeling too well lately. Perhaps the liver, or the kidney I suspect. I can already see the 40s wont be welcoming me with wide open arms. I have been fighting addictions my entire 10s, 20s, 30s. Only now am starting to feel disgust. Disgust within me and outer me from all the terribles decisions made so far. I am now unsure where my upper endate will start whether with a 3 or 4 digit.

16th May, 2026 - I woke up today around 5AM today. Worked from home from 6AM until 1PM. I met a friend at a local bar after work. I have not drank for two weeks. An all-time record. So I decided to see how I would fare while catching up with him. I had about 4 pints and the next morning I woke up dizzy. In fact I did not enjoy much being half-buzzed. I have been already fighting several urges, the cold touch of the devil's hand gently wanting to lead me to perdition and pleasures. I am not sure how long I can hold the fort. I was never great at it.